April 2, 2011 by Jenni.

Hi all,

This is one area of JABB’s web site that I’m having a really hard time carrying on with.  It’s not that I don’t want to.  Frankly, this blog is really convenient for me when I need to look back and see what was happening for Andrew and the Dyelanders at a given time.  So I don’t want to give it up.

But maybe because it’s so tied to Andrew’s thoughts and assignments, aspects that are canonical TBAA and not apocryphal Dyeland, I’m just having a hard time beginning Andrew’s first post following John Dye’s death.  I kept telling myself that “This weekend I’m going to update Andrew’s blog” but each weekend passes without it really seeming right.

I’m sure eventually I’ll feel up to it.  Heck, maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and decide then’s the time to carry on with this blog.  But, then again, it could be several weeks out.  I don’t know.

The conclusion I’ve come to is this: there was most assuredly a John Dye without Andrew.  And while he wasn’t an angel, by all accounts John was a fellow human who we should be proud to consider one of our own.  And I am.

But there was no Andrew without John Dye.  I can think of John apart from Andrew.  But I can’t think of Andrew apart from John.  And so it’s just a little difficult to hop on here and try to give voice to the deepest parts of a character that only John could really bring to life without just feeling so sad.

And, to be honest, maybe part of my hang-up is that the last time I was so merrily typing away as Andrew, unbeknown to me, John was already dead.  Reading that entry now, I don’t even remember writing it.  It seems written by another person, in another time.

So that’s where I am in this.  It’ll come back at some point.  I just don’t know when.  I just know I’m grateful to have been so inspired by John Dye’s work and to still feel that inspiration even if, for now, I need to take care with where I focus it.

God bless,

Jenni

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January 10, 2011 by Andrew.

Dear Father,

I wanted to take a few moments to thank You for some events that happened after West Hollow.

First, I’m grateful that the main part of my assignment there wrapped up in time to have a little Halloween party in Dyeland.  I may still be ambivalent about the earthly celebration but it would have been a shame to miss out on the Tunnel kids in their carefully homemade costumes and seeing how thrilled they are by simple games and story telling.  It also helped my mood to be surrounded by innocence and kindness.

I had a great time in Paris the week before Thanksgiving.  I hope Brigette and Dorian have a full, long, love-filled life together.  It was really great to have an assignment end so happily on this side.

Then came Thanksgiving in the Tunnels.  William really outdid himself this year and I, for one, was happy to be well.  More than once I caught some of my friends casting me wistful glances and I could tell they were thinking about Thanksgiving 2009.  Thank You for giving us such a calm, happy celebration.

Then there was Christmas.  Father, I pray that all my friends get the lives they want.  And I hope that if there’s any way I can help bring those dreams around that You will let me know how and when.  They’re good people, great friends and they deserve that.  I hope one day I really do get to meet my nieces and nephews.  I love them already and they don’t even exist!

I know New Year’s Eve is always a busy time for us so I didn’t expect to be able to spend any of it in Dyeland.  So that hour was very appreciated and it felt really good to ring in a new year among friends.  I hope it’s an amazing one.

If my current assignment is any hint, I think it’s going to be an interesting year assignment-wise.  Vic’s quite a character.  There aren’t too many people who would open a cafe/costume shop/used book store!  Please help me to get him to trust me so I can help him to know You’re there for him.   I get the idea that he hides behind all these personas because he’s afraid no one will like the real him.  You and I both know that’s not the case.  I hope soon he does, too.

Love,

Andrew

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January 9, 2011 by Andrew.

Dear Father,

I think I should have made “Write in a timelier fashion” one of my resolutions.  But I think I needed some time to think about West Hollow, maybe even needed to completely finish the assignment first.

My assignment in West Hollow was difficult for two different reasons: what I don’t understand and what I understand far too well.  Father, no matter how many assignments You give me, no matter how many eons pass… I still don’t understand how some human beings can be so cruel.  During one of my visits back, Erica asked me to go with her when she had to testify.  I saw Ted.  And I saw that he still had absolutely no regard for her and not any regret for the pain he caused her and Ruby, April, Molly, Laura,  Brigid, Taryn, and the townspeople, especially Jonah.  I have seen terror.  And I have seen shame… shame felt by victims who did absolutely nothing wrong.  I’ve seen grief and desperation and it breaks my heart.  When Erica was on the stand and crying as she recalled the rape, I wanted to hug her and tell her how proud I was of her and how loved she is.   And Ted just sat there and glared and leered.

I believe with all my heart that those women will continue to be the strong, caring women they’ve always been.  I know You’re with them.  I know You’re with Ted, too.  And maybe that makes it even more difficult for me to understand why there are men like him.  I’m very grateful that I was able to help Erica, Jonah, and others in West Hollow but I dread ever having another assignment like that.  Please help me, Father, when I do.  I just want to do Your will and share Your love always.  No matter how hard it is at times.

Thank You for allowing the girls to come.  You and I both know that I wasn’t happy about it at first but I know they were right and You were right.  But knowing that doesn’t make what I felt go away.  Father, I feel like in some way You’ve entrusted them to me.  And it doesn’t feel the same as when You give me an assignment.  This is different and deeper.  I want to protect them.  But I know that I can’t always.  Laja assured me that I protect the parts of her that are most important: her soul and her spirit.  I hope I do for the others, too, when they need me to.  But sometimes it’s very, very difficult to know that I might not always be able to protect them physically.  You know that one of the most difficult parts of being an angel of death is the inability to intervene.  Sometimes it’s nearly unbearable with assignments I haven’t even met.  But for it to be a friend… please, Father, help us if it ever came to that.  I know You would never cause something like that to happen but free will… it can change things.  I remember after I got promoted, You told me that sometimes it would be difficult to understand how people abuse that gift.  It is.  But You also said that there would be no love, no friendship without it.  I hope I always remember that.

I know I might not see Jonah, Erica, and the others for a long time.  I hope when I do that they’re in even better places than they are now and I hope they still recognize that You are always with them and always loving them.  From early October until Christmas Eve, You let me have a place in their lives.  I feel really blessed that I was able to spend time with them.  I’ll miss them but I know they’re still in Your hands.

Love,

Andrew

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November 21, 2010 by Andrew.

Dear Father,

I know I don’t have to explain to You why I haven’t written.  I’ve already said so much but there’s more I want to say about what happened in West Hollow.  First I wanted to take some time to remember what happened before You sent me there.  Because I valued those assignments and those occasions with friends, too.

On the 20th my friends yet again spoiled me with their designated celebration of my birthday.  They remembered how much I liked the clothes, patched with pieces of their own, they gave me when I was homeless.  So they made a quilt for me.  I took it with me to West Hollow but You knew I needed more than just a token of them.  Thank You.  And thank You for seeing to it that I was with them for the party.   I’m not sure who would have been more upset to be separated on my birthday: them or me.  Having Monica there made it even more special.  Even though Tess couldn’t be there, it meant so much that she called to sing to me.  And the hockey stick from Raquel and Nico was really great.  And useful.

Then I had my assignment with Cyril.  Like I told Laja: there’s nothing quite like seeing an old man polka his way into Heaven!  That’s one of those assignments I won’t soon be forgetting.

Then came my gig as a postal worker in South Dakota.  I hope April is continuing to look on the bright side when she can.  I wasn’t sure I’d get through to her.  That assignment reminded me of Max.  It made me wish Monica and Tess were with me.

After I left April, You sent me to St. James Prep where I was a janitor.  You know, I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun scrapping gum off desks.  Ed was a character (still is) and I wish more people at the school would have appreciated him before it was too late to tell him.  I know You’ve told him.  And I know one day they’ll be able to.  That’s one of the great things about being an angel: knowing there’s always forever.

Next came my time as a convenience store clerk.  That was difficult.  Father, I still don’t understand what causes people to harm others. Don’t they think about what they’re doing to those left behind?  To You?  I wish I could get through to more of them.  But free will… it’s an amazing gift.  One of the most important.  I wish all people recognized that and treated it as the chance to do good that it is.

You knew I needed some fun after that.  And You must have thought my friends did, too.  All these years as an angel and this was my first time as a hand model.  It’s harder work than I realized!  And now I get to spend a good, long time watching my friends flip through magazines looking for my hands.  0:-)  At least I got Bernadette to realize that she needs to take some time off for herself and for her health.  I really enjoyed my time with her but, for her sake, I hope I don’t see her again for a long time!

It was great to spend a day at the Phoenix again at the end of September.  Every time I see Crystal she seems even more sure of herself and stronger.  And Jason… that kid is going places!  Catherine and her staff are doing amazing work.  I hope their new addition fits in well.  You know, I’m really glad You created dogs.

Bennie…  Father, I’m still not sure what I think about her return last month.  I’m angry at her for upsetting Rose and Laja.  I don’t think it’s fair that she ran away before hearing us out completely.  But when I think about her… mostly I feel sad.  I feel like she needs us now.  But how can you help someone who has made it clear they don’t want you around?  As I wrote that, it occurred to me that You must feel that sometimes.  It’s not easy.   If there’s anything You want me to do for Bennie: I’m here.

After that I spent some time behind the counter at Bill’s Book Bazaar.  I may not have gotten many customers but at least I got some reading done.  So is Bill still trying to find Shakespeare and Dante and his other favorite authors?  I wish I was There for those conversations!

Then came Oct. 8th when I started my assignment in West Hollow.  I don’t want to write about that right now.  Some of the girls will be here soon.  But thank You for giving me that evening away from it on the 10th so I could help celebrate Adam’s birthday.  Thank You for Adam, period.

Love,

Andrew

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September 12, 2010 by Andrew.

Dear Father,

I know I have to meet my assignment in… 13 minutes.  But I didn’t want to keep putting this off.  I tried to share with You how grateful I was for so much during the cruise.  But in case I forgot anything, I wanted to do this.  I think the girls’ penchant for lists is rubbing off.

Thank You for:

-the talk with Yva and Rose and CJ and Lady Beth and Laja.  I feel like a great weight has been lifted from me.  And I know they felt better after it, too.

-dreadlocks.  0:-)

-flying fish

-true love shared by two truly great people.

-red velvet cake

-eye liner… especially when used to pull a prank on Tess

-a chance to dance with all my friends

-Adam’s creativity and friendship

-Esme

-the sea turtle

-free ice cream

-knowing that those who die are never really gone

-knowing Tess is happy for us and with us

-the chance to help Erica

-laughter

-getting another chance to be friends with Monica

-knowing Raquel will be happy and never lonely

-good friends who will come to me when they need to talk and will be there for me when I need to

-the sea

-the sky

-the beach

-Your love

Love,

Andrew

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September 6, 2010 by Andrew.

Dear Father,

Once again I’ve managed to get very behind on this.  But I can’t complain.  You’ve kept me busy.  And happily busy.

I want to write about the cruise and all that followed.  I feel very, very blessed and I think one day I might want to look back on my thoughts from soon after.  However, I had some great assignments before that and I don’t want to skip over them.  We also had some big events in Dyeland and I don’t feel right skipping past them, either.

June 30th was Vincent’s and Catherine’s 3rd wedding anniversary.  There was a party Below.  It’s been wonderful watching their love for each other grow and I’m glad we had a reason to celebrate it.  It was a lot of fun because this was the first time Jacob was really old enough to enjoy the party and even understand the meaning behind it a little.

Then we celebrated July 4th with fireworks and a cook-out.  The kids were thrilled.

In mid-July I had that assignment with Brigid in Dublin.  What a great lady!  I’ll have to show off some of the step-dancing I learned from her when Monica stops by again.   I hope Colleen’s doing alright without her aunt to guide her.  I mean I know Brigid’s still watching over her.  So are You.  Thank You.  It’s always easier to leave someone behind when I know You never do.

Let’s see… on the 20th of July we had a low key party to celebrate JABB’s anniversary.  Or was that the 19th?  It was fun.  Although it’s a little weird to celebrate the anniversary of your friends writing jokes and poems about you.

July 24th was Laja’s 28th.  Vincent had a great idea this year.  Since they could never do much outside when she was little, he organized a party around all those activities.  So there were a bunch of us adults playing Hide-and-G0-Seek, throwing water balloons, and climbing trees right along with the kids.  I even tried hopscotch again.  I’m pretty hopeless.  I guess You left the hopscotch ability out when You created me.  0:-)  I’m glad Laja liked the Celtic cross.  I wanted to get her something meaningful and that would always remind her of You.  And, you know, it’s fun to be sneaky sometimes.  I was the one that had to talk her into breakfast away from Dyeland that morning so she wouldn’t suspect.

And then it happened…  I showed up in an apartment I’d never seen before and found myself staring at a clown suit, neon green wig, and very large shoes.  And Buttons the Clown was born (named so in Rose’s and LJA’s honor).  I’ll admit I was a little flustered when I found out what You had in store.  But I really loved being a clown!  It was great to make all those kids so happy… and my friends once Mick let the word out.  I’ll have to remember I have no guarantee of privacy when I’m working a case only a few miles from our PI friend.

I’m very happy that Timothy is getting the help and love he needs and deserves.  That poor little boy was shouldering way too many burdens.  Father, sometimes I find myself feeling something like envy.  I know it’s wrong but I still feel it.  It’s such an incredible, amazing thing to have a little life entrusted to you.  And to see people not appreciate that gift…  I know I’ll never be a father.  I do.  And I would never not want to be an angel.  But I can’t imagine ever not appreciating that gift if I could have it.  But at least, sometimes, you let me be a clown.  Or a teacher.  Or a pediatrician.  Or You let me spend time in the Tunnels or at the Phoenix.  Thank You.

And then came the cruise.  I’ll get to that eventually but right now I have an assignment to meet.

Love,

Andrew

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June 30, 2010 by Andrew.

Dear Father,

I learned more about Jeff today and I think I have a better idea of what I’m doing here.  I’m going to try to talk to him more this evening when he gets home.  If You could maybe break a pipe or zap a wall outlet so I’d have a reason to enter his apartment, I’d appreciate it.  0:-)

I think I left off at Wednesday in recalling the camping trip.  It was Laura Ingalls Wilder Day for us.  Jessie was thrilled to see so many of the places and things that were important to one of her favorite authors.  We had to tell the kids to be careful, though, because I was leading our tour and sometimes they’d make comments that raised some eye brows like “Andrew, did you ever have an assignment as a teacher in a one room school house like Laura?” or “Did you ever take any of the Ingallses Home?”  I got more than a few chuckles out of it.

Then we had lunch at a cafe and that was sure interesting.  The waitress seemed to think all the kids were Laja’s and that I was their father.  I quickly set her straight but not quickly enough for Laja to become bothered and Owen very amused.  The waitress made a comment about Laja’s ring at which point I realized it was in the “someone has my heart” position instead of the single one.  I never understood the claddagh thing until Monica explained it to me a few years ago.  I don’t know when Laja switched it and I guess it’s nothing I don’t know but it was jarring for a moment.  But there wasn’t much time to dwell on that with kids needing to be fed.

We ate dinner around the campfire that night.  You know, I think the dogs got spoiled having so many little hands feeding them people food!

Thursday we did some souvenir shopping for our friends.  I think I found a little something that will be appreciated by everyone.  I was most impressed by the little ones.  The Tunnel people do a great job of teaching them that it’s the thought that counts in a gift, not the money that went into it.  And we also did cheese shopping, too.  0;-)

Since it was our last day in Wisconsin, we broke into smaller groups so everyone could do the things they loved best once more.  I was in the fishing group with Shelby, Asher, Portia, and Persephone.  Then we made sandwiches for dinner and hiked up our favorite trail and had dinner on the hill.  It was really a wonderful moment that I won’t soon forget.

Friday morning we left to visit Raquel.  Between stopping for lunch and at parks for the kids, we didn’t reach her house until shortly before dinner.  After that, Owen and Portia took the kids outside so Raquel, Laja, and I could talk.  That’s when she told us the big news about her pending marriage!  Thank You, Father, for bringing someone into her life.  I know Raquel’s been very lonely since Dawn died and while we try to do our best by calling and visiting, she needs someone to share her life with.  So thank You for Capt. Leo!  I can’t wait to meet him and share in his and Raquel’s special day.  Laja and I were both resistant at first to their hosting everyone on the cruise ship but Raquel insisted that she needed us there so we’re going!  I hope everyone can make it.  She said she’s inviting Monica, too.  It’ll be nice to see her again.

Saturday Raquel took us all around town to the children’s museum, the zoo, and other places she thought the kids would enjoy.  I think it did her good to be surrounded by so much excitement and joy and gratitude.  I enjoyed it myself although being back there and walking around town made me remember that assignment.  It also made me want my friends there with me again like they’d been last time.  Laja seemed to feel the same way.  I think it was a good thing we went home the next day.

It was hard saying good bye to Raquel again on Sunday but it was important the kids and Owen, Portia, and Laja spend Father’s Day with Vincent and Father.  And I know we’ll all be seeing Raquel soon!  That’s… wow… that’s just really great.  The miracles You’ve worked in her life are amazing, Father.

Thank You for giving me a couple of days back in Dyeland after the trip.  I tried to get in touch with everyone there and at the Phoenix and Tunnels to let them know I’d missed them.  I hope I can do the same when You decide the time is right again, Father.

Love,

Andrew

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June 29, 2010 by Andrew.

Dear Father,

Thank You for all the wonder and beauty and love You’ve allowed me to see, especially lately.

It’s been an amazing few weeks.  On the 8th Laja got her way and we showed that frog movie.  0;-)  Maybe it was still a little embarrassing but seeing and hearing my friends laugh made it worth it.

And then two days later we packed the kids into the van and were off to Wisconsin.  We set out from Nebraska on Friday morning… June 11th, I guess it was.  Poor Persi got a little carsick.  I forget how novel a car ride is for the Tunnel kids.  We were all grateful she adjusted quickly.  Shelby and Jessie kept the kids’ from getting bored by playing “I Spy” and word games they must have learned Below.  It was great just to hear them playing.

To break things up for them, we stopped at every used book store we passed.  Sometimes I see children bent over cell phones and those handheld games and it makes me wonder what their futures will be like.  Will they be able to imagine and invent as much as previous generations who had less?  But seeing those kids’ excitement over plain, old books… it restored my hope, Father.

They went to bed early that night after I sang “Tender Shepherd” at Shelby’s request.  It seemed to have an effect on Laja.  At times I wondered if this trip was the best idea for her but by the end I was sure it was.  Mostly because she told me but I also don’t think You would have allowed me to go if it would hurt her.

Since everyone rested so well the night before, the 12th was when we got our first hike in.  Evan found a dead squirrel which made some of the younger kids cry.  Owen, Portia, and Laja seemed to think I was the best one to handle it.   I suppose maybe I was.  I told them that everything lives and dies but how death is never, ever the end.  Shelby held my hand for the rest of the hike.  I think she was thinking of her parents.  I know in the future she’ll have more questions.  Please help me to give her the answers she needs, Father.

On a far less serious note, poor Laja was really having a time of it.  I guess she took my concerns about her caffeine intake to heart and decided to quit coffee during our vacation.  Big mistake.  I found her outside Saturday night holding her head and I thought she’d had a seizure.  It turned out only to be caffeine withdrawal so I started the 13th with a run to the nearest cafe.  I’m not sure if she was happier to see me come back or see the blended iced mocha with a shot of coconut that I was holding.  0:-)  Sometimes I think she worries a little too much about what I think.

We spent the rest of Sunday at one of the lakes and ended it around the campfire.  There were shooting stars and something about that prompted Asher to ask me about You so we all talked a long time about You and Heaven.  Children often seem to have a better understanding of You and Home than adults, I’ve noticed.  It touched me so much to hear them talk.  They built on what each other said and never criticized.

Homesickness seemed to hit us all in unison Monday.  While I still felt close to You, surrounded by all the wonders You created, I did miss my friends back in Dyeland.  The cell phones were used a lot that day with calls back and forth to Dyeland and the Tunnels.  To keep the kids minds off that, we played football and softball and tag and Hide and Go Seek.  I think the kids definitely had the advantage on the last one.  I couldn’t believe some of the tiny places they got themselves into!

Tuesday was a very laid back day.  We did more hiking and swimming and fishing.  That night we toasted marshmallows and told stories around the campfire.  Since the site of the fire gave us full view of the cabin door; Portia, Owen, Laja, and I stayed out and kept talking while the kids slept.  Persi had fallen asleep on my lap so she stayed with us, too.  Somehow we got to talking about some of my past assignments and I found myself opening up to them more than I usually do.  I kept looking down at little Persi and thinking of all the children and all my friends and praying that bad things never come to them.  But I know that even if they do, You’ll be there with them always.  As much as I love them, I know You love them more.

After a while it was only Laja and me so we just sat quietly, listening to the owls and watching the stars and the bats.  Suddenly I felt more strongly than usual that this part of my life… it won’t last forever.  Laja must have sensed something of what I felt because she reached for my hand then.  I think You probably heard from us both that night.

Jeff just got back next door.  Please help me to find the right words for this assignment, Father.

Love,

Andrew

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June 2, 2010 by Andrew.

Hey there, everyone,

Years ago Laja set this up for me because she thought I needed a place to share my thoughts.  I suspect she just wanted a place to read them.  0;-)  I had a great time with it but after a while stopped using it.  Then I started using it again but only for writing to the Father when I needed to.  Now I’ve decided to do both.  So occasionally you might see something here.

I have a few minutes before I go meet my assignment so it seemed like a good time to start this.  I guess I’ll just start writing about what’s been happening.

That last week in May I was away from Dyeland working an assignment as an IT security specialist.  The Father sent me to help someone get through a trying time and I know hearing about His love really helped her.  The assignment shook me up a little but between praying and spending a couple days in Dyeland, I’m feeling much better about everything.

And, you know, I’m pretty proud of myself for succeeding in banishing viruses, adware, and spyware off several computers.  0;-)  All those years of de-spamming the main Dyeland email account really paid off!

I missed everyone in Dyeland and the Sibling Cities.  But it was great to be back and check in at the Cafe, the Phoenix, and Below.  Sometimes I can’t believe how large our once small circle has grown!  It’s… wow.  Just really great.

JABB 300 happened.  It was a good excuse to look back on all we’ve experienced together. I had a great time reading Laja’s and Vincent’s and Mick’s and Willy’s and Nigel’s and Yva’s memories.

Memorial Day was really special to me this year and I’m thankful to all of you for that.  Not only did it mean I got to come back to Dyeland after being away (for which I thank the Father) but our picnics are always a lot of fun.  Cooking out, hiking, joking, hearing the little ones play so happily and carefree, reliving good memories together: it doesn’t get much better than that!  And it meant a lot to go with Mick to pay our respects to the men and women who served their country.  Sometimes the time we spent with them doesn’t seem so long ago.

Next week Laja and I are headed to Wisconsin and Missouri with some of the kids.  I’m really looking forward to that.  I haven’t been camping in a while.  Or fishing.  Hey, if any of you are reading this and want to come along, we still have room.  Just let one of us know.  Owen’s driving a second van.

Also, we’re planning for a movie night Tuesday night.  Laja has a film she thinks you all need to see.  I say you should never see it but I’m deferring to the lady.  0;-)

Now I need to head to the call center.  Take care, everyone!

Your friend,

Andrew

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June 1, 2010 by Andrew.

Dear Father,

I feel much better than I did when I last wrote to You.  I still feel sad when I think about what happened in Denver but You’ve let me see so many great things since then.  It helped to spend time with people I care about, too.

Around the middle of last month, Laja had her bad bout with her allergies.  I was sorry she felt so awful but it was nice to be there for her.  I feel like they all spent so much time watching out for me last winter and I want to do the same.  And if that meant watching Little House on the Prairie then I wanted to do it!

Mick, Josef, and I took to the new golf course for the first time.  I had a great time with the two of them.  Sometimes I suspect they don’t feel as much a part of us as we wish they did but that evening out on the green, I think they felt it… even if Mick couldn’t believe I came in second after Josef.

I found myself with a lot of time to think during my assignment last week.  Maybe that was Your plan.  I have to admit that for a while I wondered what I was doing there.  Installing virus protection and removing adware from computers just isn’t the typical angel of death gig.  But then when I found Kristi’s suicide note on her computer, I understood.  I’m glad I could reach out to her and help her find a reason to live.  Sometimes I have a hard time understanding how something as beautiful and blessed as love can leave such a dark, frightening void in its wake.  Her sadness and her struggle to find hope really hit me.

I don’t ever want to be the cause of a void like that, Father.  I don’t usually have to concern myself with what people feel for me.  Just that one time with Erin.   I thought about her when I confronted Kristi.  And I thought about Jordan, too.  Erin and Kristi found their way back.  And I know Jordan found his way to You.  But I still think about that night sometimes.  Did he do it because he didn’t want to face a life without Molly if the worst happened?  Was he thinking clearly or was there just a moment when his dread drove away his sanity and in that moment he made the decision?

How can a person be sure that they’re there for their loved ones and at the same time help them to know that, even without them, they’re strong people who have so much to give and who can lead a full life?  That’s what I’m praying to understand.  I think it’s important I know.  Please help me.

Love,

Andrew

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